Living in the waiting

 So, here we are about a week and a half post fire. Our family's third major, I guess you could say tragedy in a 3 year time period, and the second time that we have needed to be displaced for a lengthy period of time. We have been blessed more donations than we are able to handle, to the point where we were blessing people with food and clothing. We have a storage unit filled to the gills of bedding, towels, furniture, appliances, etc. We have a fully furnished, 3 bedroom home on a beautiful piece of property for as long as we need it.

But we are still living in limbo.

Please don't misunderstand. Not for one moment am I not thankful and grateful for everything that we have received. The community outreach has been far beyond what I ever could have imagined. But, the reality is, right now, we are living in the waiting.

We need to wait for the insurance company to do whatever they are going to do so that my husband and I can make a decision and move forward with permanent "forever" housing, to empty that storage unit and furnish our home. We can't really even move forward with looking at a home until we know what is going to happen next. So, we wait.

And, as my daughter says, 2 things can be true. I can be both thankful and grateful for all of the love that we have received while still being frustrated with living in limbo.

When my husband and I bought this house 6 years ago, we fully intended on it being our forever home. And, after finishing fixing it up after the hurricane, we were so excited to have certain things exactly the way we wanted. So, it is a little sad and heartbreaking to see those things gone. But, I would not trade any of those "things" for the lives of any of my family members. And, I'm a very routine person, so part of what brings be comfort is the stability and familiarity of an everyday life.

But, we are living in the waiting right now. And, I've been doing reading, thinking, and praying a lot about people in the Bible who spent a lot of time living in the waiting. 

How many years did David have to wait to become king after being told he would be? How long did Esther have to wait to become queen? How long did Elizabeth wait for a child? Sixty six books full of people who had promises from God, but lived in the waiting before realizing them. And, in the waiting, I'm learning that God always has a lesson, and a way of revealing himself in the most amazing ways.

In the waiting, God has shown his grace, his mercy, and his beauty to us. In the waiting, my daughter has gotten engaged. In the waiting, family members who I have not spoken to in years have reconnected with me. In the waiting, I'm learning that I love and serve a God of over and above. 

Like I said, normally I sit and type these out ahead of time, so this "on the spot" thing is all new to me. But, it's real, it's authentic, and it's true. 

I'm living in the waiting. I don't love it. I don't understand it. But I'm learning to embrace it. I'm learning about all of the other people God had "in waiting" before his over and above was realized. So, in the waiting, I will pray, I will press in, I will trust, I will read Scripture. Butt, I will also walk around the lake, I will sit at the bench in front of the kitchen window and look outside, I will help to start planning my daughter's wedding, I will learn how to stay connected with my family, end enjoy reconnecting with my extended family. I don't want to just exist in the waiting. I want to live abundantly in it. Because I know God has something for me here.