Praying in circles

     I've talked before about struggling with how to pray. It isn't that I don't want to pray, or that I don't have anything to pray about. It's just that sometimes I struggle with how to even get started or what to say.

    One of our pastors was giving a sermon about this one time and it sat with me ever since. He said to pray in circles. Now, when I hear "pray in circles" my first response is "umm, no.", because I think circular conversation. You know the kind- no real solution, just saying the same thing over and over. Why on earth would I want to pray like that?

    Then he explained it, and it really clicked. He said that his first circle is God. He starts by just thanking God for who he is and what he does, Then his next circle is himself. He prays that he can be the man, husband and father that he is called to be, and just tries to position his heart right. His next circle is his wife, then his children, etc.

    Now, as a wife and a mom, it's counterintuitive for me to pray for myself first and then my loved ones. However, what I have learned over time is that, if I'm not taking time to get my heart right with God, I'm not as effective in prayer for my family. I'm not saying that my prayers won't be answered or that God doesn't hear my prayers. I'm saying that I notice a difference when I get my heart posture right first before I go to God about someone I love.

    It's not selfish. It doesn't mean I'm not praying for my loved ones. It doesn't mean I consider my own needs or prayers more important. It means that I want to be the most effective prayer warrior I can be for my family. And, sometimes to do that, I need to bring the Lord my own "junk" first so that I can have a clear mind and a clear heart. I can ask God to cut through any anger or hurt that I'm having so that my prayers come from a genuine place. 

    I even drew a diagram for me to pray in circles. In each circle I have specific prayers for each of them. If the Lord puts something on my heart while I'm praying, I pray for that. If I forget something, I move back a circle. It isn't a set in stone formula- of course I adjust if there are immediate needs. But, this was the first "formula" for prayer that actually made sense for me, and helped me organize my thoughts and my prayers. 

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