Your tribe is your vibe, 4

     So, why have I spent the past few weeks talking about my amazing friends? Because the past few years have really taught me that your tribe is your vibe, as my friend Amanda used to say.

    When my husband and I were going through a hard time, and I was slap in the middle of making some stupid choices, all I wanted was friends. I didn't care who they were, what their lifestyle choices were, I just wanted friends. I was mostly seeking friends who didn't share my value and belief system because I was looking to justify my actions, which was only going to happen from a worldly perspective. I wasn't super choosy about who I hung around with. And, sure enough, when life came crashing down around me, not many of those people were there to pick up the pieces. 

    The people who get to see the behind the curtain stuff need to be people who you can trust sharing your junk with. You need to be able to be honest without fear of judgement. You also need to be open to correction and accountability, because a godly friend will always point you back in the right direction.

    The 3 ladies I described have been precious gifts in my life. They have been the light in my darkness, the truth when all I heard were lies, and encouragement when I felt stuck in the mud. They speak the truth in love to me because they know that my heart is to serve the Lord. They pray with me and for me, and I have tried to do the same for them.

    Who you surround yourself with and do life with matters. There was a time that I was so desperate for friends that I overshared with way more people than I care to admit for no other reason than I was desperate for connection. I wanted godly sisters in Christ that I could count on, who could also count on me. I didn't know the right way to go about it, so I took on the mindset of, "Let's just throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks!" 

    All of these women came in to my life fairly organically. Adult friendships are hard work- and good relationship is. We don't talk every day or get together as often as we would like, but we also realize that we have families and responsibilities. Sometimes we just send the reminders of "I'm thinking of you," "love and miss you", "how can I pray for you?"

    Connection is important. God did not create us to do life alone!. We need godly friendships. We need people to mentor us and we need to mentor others. Quality is not nearly as important as quality. I have nowhere near the number of "friends" I had several years ago. But I do have women I would drop everything for, and who have done that for me. I have women who know all of my "junk" and love me anyway, whose junk I know and I love them too. I have friendships that are rooted and grounded in Christ, and that is what we always bring each other back to.

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