Because I should

     Why am I the only one who empties this dishwasher? Did anyone even notice that the kitchen was clean? Are they seriously  walking through here with mud on their shoes after I just mopped this floor? Wow, thanks for telling me we're out of eggs!

    I can not possibly be the only person who has these thoughts. I love my family more than anything- they truly are the reason I breathe. But sometimes they also frustrate the tar out of me.

    I know it isn't very liberating, but I think that I would have made a great 1950s housewife. Not because I have some deep seeded desire to be supported, but I genuinely enjoy things like cooking and cleaning and baking. Cleaning is instant gratification for me- first there's a mess, then there's not. There's something very satisfying to me about being able to walk in to a room that is utter chaos and walk out with it being neat and organized. I love cooking and baking, I don't mind grocery shopping, and I loved volunteering at the kids' school when they were little.

    Alas, the stay at home mom life was never in the cards for me. I have had to work full time my entire adult life. Luckily, I enjoy my job. I have been a nurse since 2002, and my first professional love remains emergency nursing, but I have learned so much over the past 24 years, and I'm truly thankful.

    That being said, the responsibilities of keeping a home don't go away because I work full time. And, I have never really minded being the one who primarily does the housework, because I do enjoy those things. But there have been times that I have otherwise felt invisible. Almost like my family wouldn't notice if I wasn't around the dinner table with them for no other reason that dinner wasn't there. I know that's not a true statement, but there have been times that I have felt very unappreciated for what I do around the house. 

    This may sound self centered, and I don't mean for it to. I know that my family recognizes what I do, even if they don't always verbalize it. It just gets frustrating sometimes.

    One day I was listening to Holly Furtick (I think she's amazing!) and she said something that struck me. She said to do the things I'm called to do because I'm called to do them not because I'm looking for glory or a thank you.

    Don't get me wrong, this does not excuse any form of entitlement from anyone in my life, or for me to be viewed as a glorified servant. What it means is that I am called to be a wife and a mom. I am called to the job that I have. I am called to this home that I am in. And every one of these things are gifts from God. I'm to steward these gifts well and with a thankful heart. I can ask for help when I need it, and it's ok to expect that the other grown folk in my house will provide help. I'm trying to recognize what a gift it is to be able to physically do the things I do- because some people can't. 

    I have been gifted this life this family, this home, this job for a reason. God saw fit to bless me with all of this. He trusted me with these precious things, these precious people. And, even if I never get another human "thank you" in my life, I need to remember that I do all I do for an audience of one.

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