Two things can be true

     Some of the best advice I ever received came from my daughter when she said that two things can be true. That made me stop and think about the very foundation of her statement, and I realized how much we can take a black and white stance on things. Sometimes we get so overtaken and feel so strongly about our own viewpoint or opinion of a situation, we can forget that life is very multifaceted and complex. Especially when people and emotions are involved.

    One area I see this a lot in is when it comes to thankfulness and gratitude.

    So, let's just be real about this-life can be overwhelming! Bad things happen, we go through things, people hurt us and disappoint us. None of us gets out of this life unscathed.

    However, sometimes when we try to express our hurt or disappointment, or feeling overwhelmed to some of our Cristian friends, the knee jerk reaction can be "but don't forget how blessed you are," or "But you still have so much to be thankful for," or the ever so popular, "Give it to God."

    First of all......

    Never for one moment when I am venting about how overwhelming life is, or a bad situation so I also not realize how blessed I am, nor am I negating all that I have to be thankful for. And I'm just going to leave the "give it God" right there.

    But two things can be true. I can be thankful for all of the amazing things I do have to be thankful for and I can realize that, yes, God has blessed me in many ways. However, all of those things do not change the fact that my husband was in the hospital, or my daughter is going through health struggles, or that my house burned down. And sometimes, at least from my perspective, when people say those things to me, it feels as though my feelings are being invalidated, , almost as though I'm supposed to completely ignore the bad situation because of all of the good things in my life. 

    Let me start by saying that I personally think that this is irresponsible. Sometimes we need to be able to say to trusted friends the burdens that we have on our hearts and lives to release the hold that they have on us. God can't heal what we don't reveal, and we are called to pray for one another and bear one another's burdens.

    Secondly, two things can be, and often are, true. Thankfulness and grief, gratefulness and being overwhelmed, uncertianty and being blessed can exist in tandem. We are not robots. We are real live people with complex emotions and complicated lives that do not occur in a linear path. Why? Because we are in relationship wit other complex humans with emotions and lives. Things get messy.

    Feeling overwhelmed, or grief, or uncertianty or sadness do NOT for one moment mean that you are ungrateful or not thankful. Do not buy in to that lie. Take those feelings, take them to God, and take them to your trusted inner circle who are going to allow you to feel what you are feeling, but who will also pray with you, for you and around you. 

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